What would happen if....(6/28 edition)

....instead of cinnamon buns, you could order nutmeg buns? Oregano buns? Cardamom buns? Really, I got a whole spice rack, but bakeries tend to steer us, the consumers, towards cinnamon.

So, my Boston Celtics won the NBA title this year. Okay, not MY Boston Celtics, regardless of what the dopey PA guy may say. Probably just another case of "cheering for laundry". Anyways, with the Red Sox and Celtics being reigning champs, and the Patriots getting, um, pretty close, I feel it's worth pointing out to the Boston-hatahs out there that the Bruins finished dead LAST in the NHL playoffs.

Here's how this works. They lost to Montreal, who lost to Philadelphia, who lost to Pittsburgh, who lost to Detroit. So if we were to assign a binary 1-0 to each team based on how they did and their competition did, the Bruins would be a 0000.

One of my clients at work asked that next year's reports have the Social Security Numbers masked, a la xxx-xx-1234 to prevent identity theft. I almost wrote back in my email, "Not a problem, Mr. 041-46-7679." (That's not his actual SSN, but woulda been amusing nonetheless.)

Here's a pet peeve. People who don't check to see if they've just put a piece of paper with Wite-Out on it down on the copy machine. So then I come around a few minutes later and get 20 copies with a small splotch in the same spot of each page. Just scrape the thing off the glass, please?

ESPN is not required to have a "national" point of view. They're located in Connecticut, and that explains a lot of their Red Sox - Yankees bias in reporting news stories. Cable companies in Idaho do not HAVE to carry them, if people complain enough. I don't find the Fox Sports networks' west-coast slant particularly endearing, so I avoid them most of the time. Simple enough.

I hate the concept of the "fun size" candy bar, often given out at Halloween. The fun size is small, and thus there is nothing "fun" about it. Just for fun, I typed in "fun size bullshit" on yahoo or Google one time, and sure enough, I was brought to a link that I totally agreed with.

I was listening to the Orioles versus the Blue Jays on the radio, a baseball feed. Okay, not my radio, but rather my cell phone, which can stream the audio for any game being played -- great at work for day games when we're not allowed to use the company Internet connection to stream the data. Anyways, the Orioles announcers referred to their team as the Birds, which is a normal nickname employed for Baltimore, but not exactly descriptive in a game against the Blue Jays....or Cardinals, either.

Why are men's and women's shoe sizes different? Apparently my mom had a pair of men's jogging shoes when I was a kid, size 7. I remember it when years later I decided to buy her new shoes for her birthday, only to find out that her women's size is like an 8½ and the shoes I'd bought were too small? Of course, shoe sizes go wacky by country anyways, you'd think it'd be something easily made uniform....like the metric system :)