They used to call me Crazy Joe, now they can call me Bat man.
Down Under David has been inquiring what exactly was being delivered to the house, a birthday present from my brother in Florida.
Turns out I got a baseball bat. Sure enough, it's not something I'd want to get hit in the head with. It's kind of a blackish-green color, so that's cool. I have to take the sticker of Todd Helton off it.
Strange present choice....I don't think it's legal for the softball league I'm in -- bats for that have to be approved by some softball governing body, I believe. The handle's thinner than the softball bats I use, too....So this might be one I save for going to the batting cages with the automatic pitching machines.
For my tenth birthday, my mom bought me a wood bat in Little League, an official Rod Carew model. (You may know Rod Carew from either his 7 American League batting titles, or from the Adam Sandler song, since Carew, and not OJ Simpson, is a Jew -- "he converted".) Anyways, I still have that bat, but it's too small to use as an adult. Of course, as a kid it was too heavy for game use, and then we all started using aluminum bats around that time, anyway. So I still have it and actually had to break it out for a softball game last year when nobody else on the team even brought a wooden bat -- which we're required to use to restrict distances on balls in flight.
Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment, he took an ultrasound of my shrinked up thyroid -- I take synthroid pills to overcome that. Anyways, since it's the same gel and stuff that pregnant women have for ultrasounds, I asked him if it were a boy or girl thyroid. After having to explain to him the joke about the sex of my thyroid, he said it was a boy, as he could "see a small penis." Let's leave the "and where was he looking, again?" jokes to ourselves, thank you all.
Hopefully the rain will go away for the weekend, I have to spend my Home Depot card on stones and put in the rest of our front walkway.
10 comments:
Congrats on it being a boy!
G'day Brian,
That sounds wonderful - I'm going to have to fly there for you to teach me how to use one of those bats.
I'm a handy cricketer, so I guess I'd be able to pick up the rudiments of the game without too much embarrassment.
I really enjoyed the post - especially the ultrasound one-liners!
Keep smiling
David
Ever broken a wooden bat from hitting a baseball or softball? The crack sounds like you stepped on a two by four when it was propped up on bricks. Except amplify the crack by 10.
I remember before... my mother always slept with my brother's baseball bat underneath her bed. She said she felt safer that way :P You know, in case intruders came into the house or whatnot. And my bro would always get so irritable whenever he can't find his bat. I wonder what would've happened if my bro took up paddling instead. Hmmm...
lol... boy thyroid or girl thyroid. That's pretty funny.
LOL boy thyroid?
Keshi.
Jenny:
Better a penis on my thyroid, than a thyroid on my penis, I suppose!
David:
Baseball is easy enough to get the hang of. I liken it to the slogan on the box on a game of Othello....a moment to learn, a lifetime to master.
Dan:
I've never broken a bat myself. The best story I know is that Jim Rice broke his bat on a check-swing. That's some serious force.
Princess Banter:
Welcome :)
A paddle (for rowing?) can do damage. I can think of worse sporting equipment to defend yourself with -- a putter, a billiards cue....a badminton racket.
Nichole & Keshi:
I had the hardest time identifying my daughters on my ex-wife's ultrasounds. I kept asking, "where's the head?" because it was a small peanut-like object, so it wasn't exactly obvious. I knew what was the baby in there, just that a little "this end up" sign could have saved my wife a little extra discomfort, as the sonographer spelled it out for me!
Sheesh, I'm impressed - you remember what you got for your tenth birthday? Bugger. Guess I'm gonna' have to start buying the kids something more than their weekly food in, for future birthdays..
Hey, guess what? I have an under-active thyroid - do you think we might be related?? (I did get rather huge at one point!)
Brian,
I tried to explain, i.e. translate, the menue on the black board. Well, what can I say, never put a language related question to a word maniac like me, unless you want to suffer a slew of words. ;-)
Nockerl are quenelles, btw., the more elegant (French, what else?) word for dumplings.
:):)
Keshi.
Post a Comment