What would happen if....(5/3 edition)

...someone came up with Powdered Bagels? I have always kinda dismissed bagels as nothing more than bread-flavored donuts. I did make bagels once about 4 years ago. Some plain, some cinnamon-raisin, and some jalapeño.

(Oh geez, I forgot I have a Mac at home, and tried to do ALT+0241 to get a spanish N, instead of just using the option button with my N.)

A couple of the bagels came out okay, a couple of them were kinda, shall we say, thick. Dense....not light and fluffy to serve as a vehicle for butter. That's right, I don't eat bagels often, and I don't toast them. I microwave them in plastic wrap so that they get chewy, and drench them in butter. Cream cheese is not my friend.

For a while, I kept forgetting that Al Roker's wife was Deborah Roberts, not Cokie Roberts, although both Roberts work for ABC as reporters. Go ahead and wikipedia them, you'll see the difference! (And yes, that's me using wikipedia as a verb, like google.)

Here's an amusing idea....enhance the border fence for Texas. But on the NORTH side of Texas, so that they go back to being part of Mexico. (ha! burned!!)

ZIP Code poker. I used to live in Bridgeport, where the ZIP code was 06606. A full house! That ties for when I lived in Vernon, Connecticut, as a very small child. There, the ZIP is 06066. Can anyone beat a full boat, sixes over zeros?

On my way to work I saw a sign in someone's driveway advertising "seasoned" firewood. This means that it's old wood, that's dried out and will actually catch on fire well. However, I thought it would be extremely amusing to make a little sign that reads "Italian-" in front of the word "seasoned". You know, like firewood with basil and oregano in it. Anyway, soon after an American flag was stuck in the yard next to the sign, so it would have to be American seasoning. But I'm not sure what counts as American seasoning. Salt and pepper? Cajun seasoning is American, but not identified as endemic to the whole country.

After my shoulder surgery, I was advised that Vitamin E would be good for reducing the scars' appearance on the front and back of my shoulder. This is similar to when I broke my kneecap back in 1994. However, back then I had a bottle of vitamin E capsules. And I had no idea that the actual vitamins were INSIDE the gelatin. I actually tried rubbing dry gelatin on my knee for a couple of weeks. Apparently, I was supposed to break the capsules open.

I'm not a salad fan. I don't like tomatoes, onions, green peppers, or lettuce. I will eat salad when they start making it out of better-tasting stuff. I can eat spinach, carrots, and cucumber slices just fine. However, if fruit salad is identified with the fruit in front of it, why can't salad be referred to as "vegetable salad"? Like, if I'm offered salad, I should ask, "fruit or vegetable?"

One of my friends works for a company that designs packaging for consumer products. I signed up to do some consumer surveys for them online, and one of them was about all things ketchup. Ketchup is cool in that I grew up not liking ANY of the ingredients in ketchup, except for corn syrup. Tomatoes, vinegar, onion powder, other spices...no thanks! But somehow ketchup worked. As a kid, I would eat American cheese with ketchup on bread. My cousins mocked me deservedly.

Finally, although "moral support" is a common term, "immoral support" is not. Like, encouraging a surgeon to drink heavily before performing an appendectomy.

Come on, you can do it!!!