What would happen if.... (7/11 edition)

...the UFC (ultimate fighting championship) people decided to stage tag-team matches? Now, I'm pretty sure boxing as tag-team would be stupid, but maybe the octagon would have some interesting matches. Or would it carry the stigma of pro wrestling, and detract from the legitimacy of the sport?

Most parents of small kids, and perhaps bored college students, know the song "We just figured out Blue's Clues.....etc." from the TV show on Nickelodeon. I think it's very easy to substitute "Booze Cruise" for "Blue's Clues" and make your own lyrics. (I thought of this BEFORE hearing of Jenny's tale on the boat this week....)

With the summer humidity, my piano isn't sounding great....it always seems a bit muffled in the dense damp air, perhaps. I've been converting guitar music on the fly to play such silly stuff as "Smoke on the Water" on the piano. I did a paper in college about music chords, the wave equation, and harmonics, that sorta explains why songs like that SUCK on the piano. I'll spare you the details, I'm sure anyone can imagine the lameness involved.

Some people complained about the 4th of July being celebrated on a Wednesday, because, oh boo hoo, it doesn't lend itself to a three-day weekend. That annoys me to no end. If it's that big a problem, don't celebrate it. I feel there's too much of a sense of entitlement for some folks. Just you wait, everyone....somebody will try to make Christmas a "Monday" holiday....move it to the 27th instead of Saturday the 25th, so that you don't lose a free day off from work. And by "somebody", I think I mean George W. Bush.

Why are cable channels called networks? Aren't networks supposed to be different stations linked together? Like NBC, there's a couple of hundred channels all showing the same shows around the country. That's a network. CNN is one channel. What's being networked? The Cable News Network is really the Cable News Channel.

I also hate when people refer to stations by their cable number. They'll say the game's on channel 6....when it's really channel 61 over-the-air, and the cable company just happened to assign their number 6 to that channel.

There's a sign on my street advertising the college students who are painting a neighbor's house. However, the house itself is set back from the street and the driveway runs down hill a couple of hundred feet. I've never actually seen the house from the road. So although I appreciate the idea of the contractors advertising what they do, they certainly don't have the opportunity to show off whether or not they're doing a good job.

At my church Sunday, they asked to congratulate "Gene and Fran" for being named Eucharistic ministers. Or perhaps it was "Jean and Fran". No indication who was who. It was an old married couple in their sixties. I thought for sure that they were going to get to debut by handing out some Jesus during Mass....but they weren't even utilized. Seems to me if they're going to make a point of calling them out, then they ought to put these new skills to use.

One last thing, I guess. I was a big fan of the old Hartford Whalers. Their logo was pretty lame at the time, but now I kinda think it's got some erotic lendings to it. Maybe not to the extent of Joe Camel's nose looking phallic....but certainly either some cleavage or butt crack.

And on that note....back to work :)