freakin' scary

ok, not sure anyone knows that I'm type I insulin-dependent diabetic. The "real" diabetes, as I like to call it. Where it's not your own fault you have it, but rather a genetic thing. (Maybe with mom telling me not to eat a spoonful out of the sugar bowl as a kid, because I'd get diabetes, I should have listened.)

Anyway, I'm on an insulin pump, which works really well. It's hooked up via a skinny tube to an "infusion set" on my stomach, and I just have to rotate the site for the hookup every 4 or 5 days -- as long as the reservoir of insulin lasts. I get a steady-stream "basal" rate, and then I give myself a "bolus" whenever I eat food -- more food means more sugar in the blood which means I need more insulin to get that glucose to the cells in my body. The main thing is that there's a relatively consistent ratio between the amount of carbohydrates I eat and the amount of insulin needed to "cover" the increased blood glucose level.

So a couple of days ago, I'd had a blood sugar level of about 160 in the morning. Not as good as a normal level of 100, but not the worst thing in the world. Usually I'm between 80 and 130 over the course of the day. Well, the temperature was in the 90s a couple of days ago and I went down to Dairy Queen....got a large chocolate cone dipped in cherry. Now, I'm not sure exactly how many carbohydrates are in that, but I know enough about ice cream to figure out something close -- and hey, I use a machine to test my blood sugar level, and if it were too high, I just take more, and if it drops too low, I get all hypoglycemic feeling and I can eat something else to bring the glucose level back to normal. Plus, I figured another couple of units of insulin would incorporate bringing the 160 back down to 100, not including the extra for the ice cream.

Well, something screwy happened. My blood sugar level shot through the roof. Like, 450 (I think it's milligrams per deciliter of blood). I can also tell hyperglycemia because I get a faint ammonia-like smell from ordinary surroundings. So I panic, and take some more insulin....no help, it's now 520. I keep giving myself extra booster boluses (the pump just feeds more insulin through the tubing into my body subcutaneously at the infusion site, like a needle would). Still nothing all afternoon. I hit 582 on one reading, the highest I've ever had. And I can't figure out why it's not coming down. I tried gagging myself to puke up the rest of the ice cream, but of course, ice cream that's been in your stomach a couple of hours just is all gooey and doesn't puke up when you'd like it to.

Eventually I gave up, hysterical, around 3 pm, and drove home. By the time I was home I was back down to 429. I took out one of my old pre-pump needles and gave myself a shot in the butt of even more insulin, then went for a walk (okay, I mowed the lawn, but that's walking). By 5 it was down to 303, and I cooled off swimming in our little pool. A couple of hours after that it was down to 130.

So THEN, I figured I was okay to have dinner, which was just some vegetable soup -- not a lot of carbohydrates there. I did over-bolus myself just a small bit there, but that was because hey, no insulin had been working. I had taken out the infusion set, to move it to another spot, just in case the fatty tissue where I'd been hooked up wasn't absorbing the insulin right or something.

Well, that might have had something to do with it, because the rest of the night I was hypoglycemic. Readings of 47, 64, 51, 71, etc. All the while I had to eat a bunch of peanut M&M's (aw, poor me, right?) and drink almost three-quarters of a bottle of sugary root beer. Somehow I think the exercise of the late afternoon freed up all that insulin that was in my system all at once. I scarfed a bunch of cheez-its and went to bed, and woke up yesterday with a normal 88 reading. That shouldn't have been so hard.

The worst part was that when I was removing the old location's infusion set (the connection point for the insulin tube) it seemed that it wasn't secured in place right....and then I smelled my shirt the next morning and it smelled like insulin from the bottle (it smells like the latex of a freshly-opened band-aid)....which makes me think that part of the problem was the insulin at the point of connection. (The infusion set has a twist-off feature, that allows me to disconnect and re-connect the tube from the pump, so that I can take a shower or go swimming, with just a cover to the point of insertion. I think I wasn't twisted back on properly and insulin was going through the tube and leaking out instead of entering my body.)

The worst part is that next week I have to have my regular bloodwork for my 3-month checkup. They say that the blood test measures a three-month overall average of my blood sugar level based on hemoglobin. But there's no way having a 582 for a few hours won't skew my results even a bit higher than they would, had I not forgotten to go for the bloodwork last week like I should have.

And so now I have to explain this to the doctor in a couple of weeks. If my lab results are too high, he won't buy the excuse that one bad day skewed the whole three-month average!

What would happen if.... (6/27 edition)

....Elvis had a telephone instead of a TV nearby when he shot out the screen? I've thought about that at work. Unfortunately, shooting the phone doesn't convey the anger toward the person on the other line, if you haven't answered it yet and shoot it while it's ringing.

It's often suggested one wash his hands after peeing. I've always considered that it would be more beneficial to wash your hands BEFORE going....at least from a guy-at-a-urinal perspective. Where are there more likely to be germs? On my hands, touching everything on my desk over the course of the day and stuff? Or on my urine-removal-organ, which has remained in my clean undies over the course of the day, unfazed since showering? Now I grant you, if you tinkle on yourself a bit, that DEFINITELY needs to be washed off your hands. But I think the germ path is more likely going to be hand-to-penis rather than penis-to-hand. (Fine, slow thought week, shoot me.)

If margarine is such a recent invention, why did they decide to name it something so similar-sounding to marjoram, the herb?

When I was 17 I had a blind date for ice cream with a girl who was described as a junior in high school. Or so I thought.....she was in *junior high school*. Okay, everyone, have a good laugh. Nothing came close to happening in a Ben & Jerry's scoop shop anyway.

I mowed the lawn for the first time last night. My wife's old mower had one of those power-assist things to help it get moving. That broke last year, and so she whined that the yard was too hilly for her to push, and so she insisted on getting a riding mower. Of course, if you open a new Home Depot credit account, you can get 10% off. So I was "forced" to open an account and get a two thousand dollar lawn tractor. Which I refuse to learn how to use. I use her $20-floor-model-clearance-from-KMart mower. I don't care if it takes me an hour longer than it takes Erika. I'd prefer to have that extra two grand to pay for more important stuff. Plus, it's fun to use the pool to wash the sweat off afterwards.

I think a good trade-off, in the absence of an umpire, is "no called strikes" for "no walks or hit-by-pitches". Especially at wiffle ball.

Money experts claim that you shouldn't take a loan against your 401(k) account because you pay double taxes on the money. Technically, you only pay double taxes on the interest, because the principal of the loan is really tax-free income while you've got it.

What's the world's record for stretching mozzarella cheese off a pizza, anyway? Is this measured for the Guinness book?

There's a "cigarette discount store" across the street from here, and one time I saw the proprietor go outside for a smoke break. Now, I'm anti-smoking at least as much as the next guy, but of all the places that it probably should be allowed to smoke in public, a cigarette store would seem to be okay in my book.

Velvet Revolver

Anyone get the new album yet? I like these guys, they're the music of GnR with the singing from STP. I saw them at Jones Beach on Long Island a couple of years ago....made me think Axl was rolling over in his grave.

(A tip of the keyboard to Diff'rent Strokes on that one....Mr. Drummond's batty old sister saying if their ancestor had been alive today, he'd be rolling over in his grave. I LOVE that line.)

My softball team continues to suck. I think 5 hits last night. I promised in the 7th inning that we wouldn't get shut out. So I do that same, slap it to the shortstop since they can't throw me out crap...a cheap single...then the next guy hit one off the LC's glove, so we had 2nd and 3rd with one out, and another single scored us both. So we lost, what, 12-2? I'd rather have a team of non-hitters than non-fielders, though. (Of course, I've got both. This will be my last year on this team.)

I have a picture from my daughter's first communion that I went to put in a frame here at work, and it was a 5x7 frame for a 4x6 picture. Oops! I have used a clean fancy napkin as matting behind the picture -- that's better than using the old picture it's replacing! I need to update my other pictures, they're all from 2005. The best one, I think, is my younger daughter after we got a book on balloon animals and stuff. She looks like a soldier of fortune with headbands and straps formed by long skinny balloons all wrapped around each other. And of course, she was 4.

Let's see, what else....with the Sox on the left coast, I had to get my baseball from the Mets-Cardinals. I sorta liked the Mets as my "favorite NL team" as a kid...but then they turned into pricks in the mid-80s, and so only lately have I watched them without all that animosity. Shea's still a dump of a stadium....but I'll still take any free tickets my boss wants to give me.

The yellow weed flowers in the field outside my window are making a comeback. It's supposed to be 94 today. (34 for you in metric-land, which I suppose is....oh, everywhere else in the world.) I may swim tonight, we have a small outdoor pool that had gotten cloudy over the weekend, but some chemicals fixed that right up. The pool is near a lot of trees, though, so we get plenty of leaves in there. Vacuuming must come first, I suppose. At least the water should be warm enough not to scare off Erika from going in. I do have to find my bathing suit, though....I lost it over the weekend and had to settle for floating on a tube "sunny side down" Sunday afternoon.

Late at work on a Friday.

So Carlos Zambrano is pitching to AJ Pierzynski....
Think they're discussing their mutual hatred for Michael Barrett?

I missed a pitch in the all-star game last night. The left fielder was 100 feet off the line and I tried to aim my swing. After that debacle of an at bat (grounder back to the mound), I got 2 singles and a triple, so not too bad. Everything was just "off" a bit for me, though. I slipped on a throw to the plate, and because of that it had to be cut off by the pitcher, whose relay was *just* late. Also had trouble on a deep ball over my head, it landed just off my glove because of the bad angle I took. But I made up for THAT mistake with a nice sliding catch. Our team won, 12-8.

Coors light and its friends are now referred to as "supermarket beer" in my lexicon. Always good to have even a cheap beer at work on a Friday, though :)

It's finally quiet around here. But one other person's here, so I can't blast the audio. So I'll keep a White Sox - Cubs game on instead of iTunes.

The boss is on vacation next week. Insert your own commentary here, I suppose.

My daughters are at their grandparents' house on Cape Cod for the week. So I'll be sleeping late the next couple of days.

the good, the bad, and the ugly

The good...

My co-ed team is 6-0, and my teammates voted me as the male representative for our all-star game tomorrow night.

The bad...

My men's team has lost like 5 or 6 in a row.

The ugly...

I got one hit tonight for that men's team. The other 8 guys in the lineup (yeah, 8....after having 13 in the lineup Friday, we only had 9 tonight) had ZERO.

I broke up the no-hitter in the 4th inning. They had a shift on for me, being a lefty pull hitter....so I Ichiro-slapped a single to where the shortstop shoulda been. Kinda like bunting late to break up a no-no. The next inning the pitcher hit a bomb over my head in left that kept rolling and rolling for a homer....yeah, I had it coming.

What would happen if.... (6/20 edition)

...the last person in the All-Star Home Run Derby, down by one, decides to "run out" his last fly ball, claiming an inside-the-park homer while the 10-year-old kids they let in the outfield struggle to return the ball to the infield?

My softball league is having a home run derby tomorrow night, and there's a $2 ante, with the winners splitting the pool. Now THERE'S a way to spice up the all-star shenanigans.

Is "shenanigans" an Irish word? I'd have a couple of pints at a pub named Shenanigans if there were one around!

After my trip to Ireland back in '03, I finally developed the taste for Guinness, which I hated in college. This does not mean I will eventually like coffee, though.

There's an office in the building here at work, and there's a quotation taped to the door. It talks about how excellence is the result of hard work, not luck. The quote is attributed to "Arthur Unknown". So apparently, excellence is irrelevant in the spelling department.

I think it's mundane for sportscasters to refer to Atlanta as "Hot-lanta". I prefer my own term, in honor of Ted Turner. Ted-lanta.

My wife and I are sixteen episodes into the DVDs for "How I Met Your Mother". What exactly is Barney's job? The guy played by Doogie Howser. If nothing else, he gives inspiration to dorky smart kids everywhere that their lives CAN turn out cool! :) (Just stay away from snorting coke off hookers, like in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.)

I read that you never see cashews in their shells because they contain the same chemical as poison ivy.

If you accidentally put a DHL package in a FedEx drop-off box....and they're side-by-side....will the FedEx guy be nice and put it in the right box, or will they steal the package, to end up lost forever?

Plinko was the most overrated game in the history of The Price Is Right. The Race Game was my favorite. And one time, I think a contestant should have expressed more disappointment to get stuck in a really crappy game like "double prices", where you just have to pick which of the two prices is the right one for the hot tub. Lame!

I was probably older than I should have been before I realized the edible part of the pumpkin is the shell.

I recommend that you steer children towards separate kindergarten teachers, so that you don't get re-runs when the younger kid makes all the same stuff an older one made! (I have nearly identical homemade paperweights now after Fathers' Day this weekend.)

Ever yank a golf shot onto the wrong green, from an adjacent hole? Because you're required to putt the ball off that green before you can chip it back onto the correct hole. Grrrr....

Birthday cake

My claim to fame with my younger daughter is that I always include the age number into her cake. Her first cake was blueberry, so I made a ring of blueberries around the top frosting, and make a big number 1 in the center with the blueberries, too. For 2, it was a chocolate cake with a peanut butter 2 on top. Three was a doll cake, so I had to put the 3 on the front of the dress. (Someone else made that cake -- you bake it in an oversized measuring cup, and then invert it so it looks like the bottom half of a dress. Then you put a new Barbie doll or something inside down to the waist.) I may have to dig for pictures of the 4 cake, I can't remember it off the top of my head. Last year, 5, was like the blueberry cake, except I used lemon drops to ring the circumference and make a 5. This year, Sarah wanted vanilla cake with peppermint frosting. Um, okay....Well, I also crumbled some white chocolate chunks on top, garnering a comment that it looked like feta cheese. Anyways, for the 6, I really cheated and just used a black licorice shoestring wound up into a 6. One of my cousin's kids ate that, I think.



(Not sure why my picture didn't upload from home....but I've since driven to work and don't have the picture available to enclose here.)

Back to the Rack...

Okay, where to start.

No matter how extensive a list you think you've made when you go camping, you always forget something. Or at least, think of something you'd wished you'd brought. For instance, a wine bottle opener. It certainly wasn't on our list, but after buying a couple of wines from North River Winery up in Vermont, you realize it's going to have to wait until you get home. We got one bottle of Vermont Harvest (apple with maple syrup and spices) and one bottle of Rhubarb.

Other fun places to go are Ben & Jerry's headquarters in Waterbury, and Cabot cheese headquarters in Cabot, VT. Obviously they're just tourist traps, but fun enough that they take you through their factories. Both places feature short 10-minute intro videos telling "their story". The B & J's one is funnier because they've been bought out by Unilever, so the founders are "off doing their own thing" at this point. My highlight was seeing the people on the floor watching the tour go buy upstairs, looking out windows at them. I made eye contact with a relatively pretty woman about 30 years old, and flashed her. She laughed down on the floor, and I could see her telling her co-worker...but no flashback, unfortunately (which my wife said would have been funny!). The Cabot factory tour is on the same floor. The guy closest to the window had lots of tattoos, including "KILL" on his knuckles. Erika *dared* me to flash him, but I'm not freakin' crazy. Their store had tons of good cheeses, and the pre-requisite maple syrup. It's a law that every business in Vermont must sell maple syrup, I believe. Actually, we found some there that were infused with other flavors....Erika got vanilla chai maple syrup, and I got habañero maple syrup. Can't wait to try those.

Let's see, what else. The alpine slide at Pico isn't open yet until June 29. That sucked, because alpine slides are awesome. The campsites were all good -- Emerald Lake, Silver Lake, New Discovery, and Thetford Hill. I actually did my student teaching at Thetford Academy fifteen years ago. That place was too small, though, because we couldn't get a campsite away from other people. At New Discovery, we might have been the ONLY ones there Monday night. We rented the first six episodes of The Office. The original British version. Holy bleep, that show is hysterical. And it's funny, because I really like the American version, so we were trying to compare/contrast the shows. Even if it IS 2 versions of the same thing, they're both worthy. Like, you kinda wish the two shows could somehow co-exist in a crossover "parallel universe" thing -- like what if Dwight and Gareth were switched, or something?

Thetford's so close to Dartmouth that we stopped by the campus to sorta point out some stuff to Erika about my school, and have dinner. Of course, her school just had a mass-killing a few weeks ago, so a trip with her to Va. Tech. might only be kinda depressing.

Anyways, we had an appointment at her accountant's yesterday in Arlington, MA. Left at 4:10 to get back for a softball 6:30 game in Oxford. Got there just in time, a testament to the lack of speed traps along routes MA-2, I-95, I-90, and I-84. Went 4-for-5. Just missed a spectacular Willie-Mays catch in the first inning, and then suffered through a 10-inning nailbiter. We blew a 9-3 lead in the 6th. It stayed 9-9 through the 7th, 8th, and 9th (even though they left the bases loaded with none out), into the 10th, before the outfielder next to me let a single go through his legs and the guy at first raced home with the winning run as I tried backing it up.

As for now....catching up at work. I should be able to comment on everyone else's blogs tomorrow, for anyone concerned about my absence.

Still on vay-cay

Sorry I hadn't gotten the chance to write more. I've been in Vermont where cell phone coverage is few and far between. Now I'm at my wife's accountant's ofice in Arlington, MA...not exactly on the way home, either! I'll write more when I get home tonight, Down Under David!

You take the good, you take the bad....

Sorry, not a "Facts of Life" homage...

Just a quick update on softball. I went 0 for 4 Wed. night. We lost, 10-7. First two times up, blinded by the sun. 3rd time up, the right-center fielder went all Jim Edmonds on me....a fantastic diving over his head catch. Grrrr.... Then a line out to end it. Apparently by making the last out, I owe the beer next time. Hopefully we'll be back from camping in time for the game next Wed. night. I already have to miss Friday and Monday. I fielded just fine....unlike, say, the right side of our defense. Oh well, I suppose.

Tonight, though...much better. 3 for 3, all infield singles though. It helps to run hard every time. Fielding was awesome....I keep feeling like I'm being reminded as to why I LOVE playing. First inning....guy hits a BOMB to left...the left fielder and I are sprinting....but neither of us can call it because it's right between us. Left fielder reaches....and it pops off his extended glove....and I snag it with my bare left hand! Sweet! :)

Live update...A-Rod grand slam...guess I HAVE to watch basketball at this point...

Oh, and I also started a double play on a running catch, the runner at second was too far off. Although the shortstop snagged the ball I threw to the second basewoman, we still doubled up the runner. The next batter grounded out, and so no outs, bases loaded led to 0 runs. Yay! (We won, 13-1.)

More interesting stuff tomorrow, I suppose. Perhaps a tribute to pistachios. (burp!)

What would happen if.... (6/6 edition)

....the makers of vending machines installed the "TILT" technology in pinball machines? Your candy gets stuck, so you at least *try* to rattle the machine....only for the TILT lights to go on and the machine goes dark with the exit-tray closed off or something.

Are we familiar with the term "smash-mouth football"? That's where a team never throws the ball, and simply runs up the middle, and is happy with the modest 3-4 yard gain. ("Three yards and a cloud of dust.") It's more physical to run the ball right at the other team rather than try to pass or run to the sideline, etc. Well anyways, one of my friends plays a sort of "smash-mouth golf." All his shots are about 90 yards, even off the tee. But they're straight, and he's on the green in 4, at least as well as I am, who'll spray balls much further, but in much more of a random direction. So he gets a 6 and I get an 8, despite being 125-150 yards further ahead after our tee shots.

When I was a teenager I thought it would be a genius idea to market instant coffee that already had dried cream crystals in it. I was mocked by my friend's dad. Later, this idea was explained to me as "General Foods International Coffees", which have other flavors built in with the coffee and (most likely) non-dairy creamer.

I hate that my phone has no caller ID, but that calls come directly to my desk. I have no idea who's calling, and so sometimes I'm reluctant to pick up out of fear of being "ambushed" by one of our clients' employees asking me stuff they should have posed directly to their HR people. And yet, sometimes I'll stare at the phone and eventually pick up on the 3rd or 4th ring...and I'm never lucky. If I pick up on the first ring, it'll be a legitimate client call. The longer I wait, the more likely I'm going to regret not letting it go directly to voice mail.

I'd like to see a league patent its sport. Imagine if I invented a sport and started a league. I could control labor costs, because it would be illegal for the disgruntled players to try to form their own league to play a game I invented!

I like to tell people I earn seven figures. Unfortunately, two of them are after the decimal point.

In college I was mocked for being a New Englander, where the states all use the same town names. Like Manchester, in Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Vermont. I wonder how states as big as California can even FIND names for thousands of towns.

I took Spanish classes in high school and college, and I still read it pretty accurately. I enjoyed skimming Yahoo's TV listings for Spain, because I looked to find US programs being translated to Spanish, and sure enough, found "Me llamo Earl." The best part is the description of the episode, where everything is in Spanish except the character names, which remain English.

There's an open field outside my window. Last year they tried planting grass, without too much success -- just lots of weeds. This year, suddenly, the whole field last week was awash in bright yellow flowers. So it's lots of yellow spots amidst a green background. Kind of like a TV screen when you get "snow" for the reception. Except this would be.....yellow snow. (Which we're all taught to avoid)

I like the woman from the E-Surance auto insurance ads. The cartoon woman who's really athletic and seems pretty smart in escaping danger in the world. The pink hair's a bit odd. Usually women with bright pink hair are associated more with the performing arts, rather than athletic travails or the insurance industry, no?

I have no memorabilia

So the DanWagon is discussing sports memorabilia we've collected over the years. Being a rather prudent spender, I've got none. I did have some Marian Hossa bobbleheads I gave the girls after a trip to Ottawa back in 2001, but I'm sure my ex-wife has long since thrown them out. Heck, he plays for Atlanta now anyways.

The closest I ever got to something from a game was at a Pawtucket Red Sox game back when I was like 12. I was using the scorecard in the program to keep score, and asked my dad to fill in for me while I had to go to the bathroom. When I came back, he'd started doing the 3rd inning, but filled it in under the 2nd inning's column, right where the last batter had left off. So I was in the process of erasing and moving the scorekeeping into the right column, when a foul ball came back over our heads. It hit the old wooden overhang -- I know McCoy Stadium has been renovated, but this was back around '83 or '84 -- and dropped straight down onto the wooden seat next to me and bounced away. I only barely noticed it out of the corner of my eye as it flew away another 20 feet to be gobbled up by someone else. And that's as close as I've ever come. I will go to minor league games with no more than 1000 people in the stands, and I still can't get a ball. And now I'm getting to the age where if I do get one, I'll feel guilted into handing it over to a 5-year-old with a glove. I say, I gotta get myself one first, and then any subsequent ones can be turned over to snot-faced tykes!

A big heaping bowl of chemicals

I wish I could remember what that line is from. Like SNL, or WKRP....
Anyways, it's what our above-ground pool became this weekend. All sorts of stuff like shock, algaecide, and minerals to soften and alkalinize the pool. We were given clearance to swim in it Saturday, though, which was cool! Except for having to go buy a bathing suit for Lindsey. Sarah still has hers from her birthday last year. And it STILL doesn't fit her. We had to safety-pin the waist of the bottoms. She's pretty skinny, all right.

Went to City Steam brewery/restaurant for my friend Steve's 38th birthday Saturday night. They do a 90-minute comedy show after dinner. The guys were somewhat local, and none of them really were great, although certainly *some* good spots for a couple of them. Nothing memorable to share, though. The beer at City Steam is good. No, it's not as good as the Victory Brewing place in PA that I mentioned last week. But still a good place to try out new beers.

It's amazing how little network TV I watch any more. I think hockey's on tonight, though! That'll tide me over until Futurama at 10:30.

random variance

So, I follow up an 0-3 with a 3-3....each game featuring a sacrifice fly in the 1st inning. Yeah, that's a cheap way to not hurt your batting average and get an RBI. We won our men's game Wed. 11-5 and co-ed game last night 22-4. We also had 3 new women come to fill Erika's roster spot. There's nothing worse than not being in the field for a softball game, or having a 12-person batting lineup. At least I didn't have to sit -- maybe my inning off would have been one that was wiped out by our mercy rule win -- we didn't play the 6th and 7th innings. The random variance comes into play both with my batting lines, and the number of women apparently showing up for our game.

Men's league in Oxford: We're 2-1. I'm 7 for 12 with 5 runs scored and 1 RBI. (Yes, that's 7 hits out of the #3 spot in the lineup with no RBI other than the sac fly.)

Co-ed league in Trumbull: We're 3-0. I'm 7 for 10 with 7 runs scored and 5 RBI.

All singles so far, though. Eek, gotta cycle up for the summer! (That's steroid talk, so I hear.)


I've gotten smarter, and now I keep a list of good ideas at my desk here at work to save for my "what would happen if..." column on Wednesdays. I wonder if my cell phone has a voice recorder in it for notes-to-self. It should, it's got all sorts of stuff I haven't figured out yet.

Also, Erika and I have narrowed down our campsite destinations for 4 nights in Vermont in a couple of weeks. Cheap and easy, that's the way to take a vacation. Or, save money on lodging, only to spend it at small shops all over. We'll see.

What would happen if.... (5/30 edition)

...if someone were to try to market dairy products made from human milk? Forget goat cheese, Nichole! I think I'd be interested in at least seeing in a store, a line of blueberry yogurt or some sour cream.

When I was a kid, I used to eat American cheese with ketchup sandwiches. Really, it's not much different from a hamburger without the beef, is it? Anyways, that's a trip back to the 70's.....it's left my menu, the same way as the full combination of peanut butter / jelly / AND Fluff. At least with those, it was just too hard to apply the 3rd ingredient to either of the other 2.

If terrorists drove a small plane into the green monster at Fenway, would the Red Sox try to re-build it? Or would they petition the city to put a regular left field out there? And could they, with the space limitations?

What's a better episode of WKRP? The one with the turkeys being thrown from the plane at Thanksgiving? Or the one where Les reads the emergency procedures manual....replacing "communists" at every spot with "tornadoes"? The godless tornadoes!!!

If a town (like, say, Wilton, CT) doesn't want an interstate-esque highway to disrupt its rural character, can't the state legally close the state roads by erecting jersey barriers outside the city limits? You think Route 7 as a highway's bad? Try having NO route into town, ya upscale snots! Believe me, nobody's going to be getting off in Wilton, anyways....you ignore us, we'll ignore you on our way to Danbury or Norwalk, thank you very much.

I once found out the hard way that if you want to carve your daughter's name into a pumpkin at Halloween, names with full circles in them (like d) are a bit tough. An s is actually easier, despite all the twistiness.

What the heck are all the yellow flowers that took over the empty lot next door? It's freaky....you can't even see the green weeds anymore.

I wonder if amusement parks could install EZ-Pass type stuff onto their better rides....like you get what you pay for...6 trips on the roller coaster costs more than 2, and they give you a bill at the end of the day, based on a bracelet you wear all day with a sensor.

Is there anything better than a brewery tour that has a restaurant with it for when the tour's over? Like this place in Pennsylvania. Factor in that we had a cab ride all set up for heading back, and that's pretty darn good!

The good thing about the written section of the national spelling bee is that at least then, everyone's spelling the same words. I'm reminded of the old Far Side cartoon where someone gets "cat" and the next caveman's dreading getting stuck with "Australopithecus".

What would it take to start a new music television channel, to show videos and concerts 24 hours a day?

When I was like 10 or 11, ESPN came in over the air in my bedroom one afternoon. I had a small black and white TV, and there was the snowy feed of an auto race on channel 11. Now, 11 was the number on the cable for ESPN, but I definitely didn't have cable in my room. I grew up close enough to Bristol to pick it up over the air, but that doesn't make any sense, either.

Greg Oden, future #1 NBA pick, recently said he wanted to be a dentist when he was a kid. Combine that with his obvious misfittedness at being 7'1".....and I think we've found Hermey the Elf in his new life.

Being King for a Day should get you the best HMO in the kingdom

Now we're talking....

4 for 4, 3 runs scored....including sprinting home from 3rd on a sac fly to win, 8-7. All singles to right, except for the one in the ninth, which was an infield hit up the middle to beat the throw from second base. (A guy named Frank I know from pick-up hoops....I'd forgotten his name, called him Larry earlier in the game....realized it later, apologized and he said "I'm Italian, do I *look* like a Larry?" good-naturedly.)

So the slide into home, along with an earlier slide in the game, gave me 2 big strawberries on my shin and back upper thigh (okay, butt). Erika had bought for me for Christmas (stocking stuffer) some antiseptic wash and spray-on bandage. (Apparently it's aerosol krazy glue, practically.) Well, on my Thursday night game, she lent it to a guy on my co-ed team who scraped up his knee. That's all well and good, but she didn't put it back where she found it. She had dug through my sporting-goods store of a car trunk to find them, and decided to put them back in the car's first aid kit. A place I've never ventured. So it took until the next morning to really get them tended to, although I did fill the entire shower floor with dirt cleaning those wounds off later that night.

Saturday was my family's annual cookout/campout at my uncle's house. We were the only ones to camp out, most everyone else went home. We had hot dogs (with crunchy peanut butter on Erika's and mine -- her secret topping of choice) and we also went to a nearby petting zoo in the back forest of Chaplin, CT. There were 4 of us in a small tent, because I didn't realize the box with the other tent did not contain that other tent. Combine that with a slow leak in the air mattress....ahhhh. I did get to try my new phone in the morning to check on how the Red Sox did, though. That was cool. My uncle made us pancakes the next morning. Here's a link to my aunt's studio:

As for the rest of the weekend....lots of spring cleaning.

a game-losing homer....

This is a fun story. My co-ed league plays some of its games on the high school's fast-pitch softball field. With very short fences (225 feet maybe?)....so the rule is, each team is allowed 2 homers per gender per game. They went up 4-0 on two two-run shots. We clawed back, got it even, and then exploded for 5 in the 5th (including a 3-run shot) and 1 more in the 6th on a solo shot. (We of course lambasted the kid for "wasting" our last homer on a solo shot, but it was 10-4 so we weren't THAT mad.) I of course with the big lead, and getting tired of squinting into the setting sun, literally wasted my last time up trying to hit a low pitch as a flare to left, but instead got a pop-up to third. So I ended up 2 for 4 with a run scored.

So anyways, that wasted at bat. Sure enough, the other team put together a rally in the top of the 7th. Second baseman dropped a pop-up...lots of gap singles....next thing we know it's 10-9, two outs, 1st and 2nd. I'm kinda hoping for a single up the middle so I can throw out the tying run. But this was where it got funny. The last batter of the game hit a bomb out to right field. Over the fence by 50 feet. So instead of a game-winning homer....it's an out because it's the 3rd guy to hit a homer in the game for them.



Okay, next story. I apparently have been tagged by Chele76. This was at first amusing because I noticed that Dan Mega was tagged first, and he didn't try tagging me. I felt a little passed over, but that was explained when I noticed that Chele had tagged me and Dan at the same time, and I'd only read his first.

Here are the rules:
Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

1. I'm left-handed but play the guitar righty.
2. I lost spelling bees in the 4th and 6th grades on "persuade" and "cypress", the latter of which I spelled like the island, rather than the tree as dictated in our spelling book. Even showing the teacher on a globe was to no avail.
3. I threw up lobster after finally agreeing to try it as a twelve-year-old, as my parents bribed me with three packs of baseball cards. It wouldn't go down, no matter how hard I tried to swallow (an allergy, maybe?) and they relented and rewarded my efforts with the cards.
4. I prefer Missile Command to Asteroids, any day of the week.
5. I have no trouble spending $80 on something at Christmas time for a relative that I wouldn't spend $60 on for myself if I liked the same thing.
6. I once tried to make homemade butter rum ice cream by adding real melted butter to the mix, which then froze into chunks of butter throughout the mixture.
7. I can still solve a Rubik's cube, 25 years since I last read the book with the sequences for the various stages.

Who to tag....let's go with some of the folks from my fantasy baseball league: Big D, Guy in the Corner, Fost, Andy, Dr. Doom, Jays64, and Rafael.

What would happen if...(5/23 edition)

...I yelled out to the trucks sweeping my street with "Someday...you'll dance with the reaper!!!"

Not much look worse than dead vines among live trees.

I like to read the label in supermarkets of Chicken Pot Pie, or Pot Stickers, and comment, "hmm...contains no actual pot." Made a hippie-looking guy laugh once.

Saw the 24 finale....I think they realize they need to scale back *just a bit* next year. The seasons are usually, what 18 months apart? So Chloe will have already had her kid....I found it amusing that Jack knew his way around CTU as though they'd never reconfigure areas, plus he knew the old abandoned motel was still there to meet Chang.

Jordin's 17...I wonder if she has her driver's license yet, and if not, what good is the assumed Ford sponsorship?

I was surprised that the recycling collection people took empty Corona bottles with the dead limes in them. I certainly wasn't taking them back for nickels. (Not mine!)

Does everyone play croquet with the "poison" concept? It seems like it's never mentioned in the rules that come with the game? It makes it way more fun, though, especially on uneven terrain.

Sprint converted my old T-Mobile number onto my wife's account, and when I called her, the caller ID had her name with my number. Apparently that takes 72 hours to fix? Huh?

On a lint roller, are the perforations lined up with the same spot on the roll? If the sheets you tear off were all the same size, they wouldn't work becaue the circumference around the roller shrinks as you use up sheets.

If a major league baseball team files for bankrupcy, where in the line of creditors do the players' salaries rank?

I've been "banned" from eating raisins by my wife and daughters. Perhaps you can guess why, if anyone has the same "affliction".

If Indianapolis had won Super Bowl 45, would we have gotten any corny scenes with a 75-year-old Schneider and Ms. Romano during the pregame?

Is there a list somewhere of every show/city combination? Heck, even Hartford got Judging Amy to compete with Providence! If Springfield, Mass. gets a show, look out!

Jimmy Page played guitar with a bow. I'm waiting to see someone try it on a banjo.

dutch apple cheesecake

Yes, my wife has invented the world's greatest dessert, it seems....and by breakfast, I mean "next-day breakfast" to finish off the masterpiece that we'd served the night before.

Played some Oh Hell, Hearts, Setback, and 9-5 Setback. I woulda won hearts except I got f-bombed....Ever play, know you can shoot the moon, if only a last early trick goes by so you can get rid of your crappy loser cards early? And then your wife decides on the 3rd time, as the last of your losers goes by, to give someone else the first heart of the hand? And then you've got a recipe for 25 big points left in your hand and no way out??!

We had to buy a replacement croquet set for my daughter's. Grownups tend to pound the mallets into woodchips. The new set has slightly larger balls, but monstrously solid mallets, so that the balls roll all over the lawn better.

Game 1

First at bat, bottom of the first....batting cleanup. They had a huge shift on me, so I decided to try to go to left. The problem with that is I don't hit liners to left, I hit slicing tailing flares. That's what I hit, and the woman in left field ran way over, stuck out her glove about mid-thigh high, and dropped it. So I ended up at 2nd base, where I was stranded.

Second at bat, 2nd inning....bases loaded. This time I pulled it, but got under it just a bit. The right fielder went way back, and sorta had trouble planting his feet. The ball popped out of his glove just over his head. He should have caught it....but I went all the way around the bases....so like a grand slam, but technically it's a sacrifice fly and E-9. I'm debating whether or not to call it a 2-RBI sacrifice fly....it was deep enough for the guy on 2nd to score. But definitely not 4 rbi.

Third at bat, 4th inning. two on. Swung at a slightly high pitch, and hit a little dribbler back to the pitcher's left. He had trouble picking it up, but I think an infield single would have happened anyway. Lord knows, I'm NOT going to say I got on 3 times in a row all on errors! I was then stranded.

Last at bat, leading off the 5th. The pitcher said the new right fielder was asking me to hit it to him. I did, but it was a sinking liner that short-hopped him. He then had it fly out of his glove in right, so I decided to try for 3rd, not just 2nd. The relay throw might have gotten me, but it hit me flush in the back as I was starting my slide. (So maybe I would have been safe...) The ball rolled away into the bench, so I was given home.

I'd have to say I went 2 for 3, with two singles and a sacrifice fly. One RBI, and 2 runs scored.

We won on the mercy rule, 19 or 20 to 7 after five innings.

No tests of my sore arm....you'd think a left-center fielder would be more busy other than picking up one rolling single.